Let me bring you back to a Saturday in Early January in 2009. It was my first workout with a trainer, ya know, the ones that most gyms give you when you first join, they say its
" complimentary" , your gift for joining, But really, its their way of showing you, just how out of shape you really are, then , after they kill you, they sit you down and tell you how you can pay them BIG bucks to do that to you on a weekly/monthly basis.
The Boy ( and I say BOY, cause he graduated high school with ALEC, so yeah. The BOY who I was lucky enough to get wanted to take my measurements and test my body fat. I WOULDNT LET HIM. Can you believe that? I didnt want to know what my body fat was, and I certainly didnt want a boy young enough to be my son ( and who knew my son) wrap a tape measure around the fattest parts of my body, just to write down numbers you normally dont think of when you think of some 39 year old woman's measurements.
He said he would pass on doing that part, and then proceeded to torture me with his workout. Little did I know then, but it wasnt really a workout, it was the fitness test that they put you through, to see how unfit you really are. He made me do wall squats for 15 seconds at a time, I was begging to stop at 10 seconds. He wanted me to hold full body plank for 15 seconds, I didnt last 7. He asked me to do a real push up, and I gave him 5 girly ones with extreme difficulty, but I showed him! he had me do lunges , and step up and down on a step for 30 seconds. When I was finished I WAS DYING. ( I thought clearly this boy doesnt understand how overweight and out of shape I am, or he would have taken it a little easy on me. )I was so ready to go home and not move for the rest of the weekend.
Little did I know , I wasnt going to be able to move for many days to come! Scott and I went to the movies that night, and I could barely walk up the stairs, after the movie was over it was 10 times worse. the next morning, I couldnt squat down to use the bathroom ( I somehow managed that one, thank God). I remember when it was time to go to the gym that night, Jake asked if I wanted to go, I said yes, But I really considered not going, cause all of the cardio machines are UPSTAIRS. I was still in pain on Tuesday, by this point I thought something was seriously wrong with me, that maybe I had torn a muscle or something, cause I had never felt so much pain before from working out. But nope, I was just that out of shape.
As I was at the gym Monday night with my trainer I thought about how far I have come from that first workout with the BOY ( I finally broke down in September and started paying for a trainer, after watching them for 9 months I realized some of them know what they are doing, so I picked the one I wanted and have been with him since. ) Everytime that I train with Kyle I feel like I am going to die, but its not cause I am so out of shape, its cause he is pushing me to go beyond anything I have ever done before. and when I think I cant give him another rep, he is there to make sure I can.
I have watched other ladies who were just like me a year ago, come in and do their one free session with a trainer, and I see the look in their eyes, the same one that I had, that they feel like they are going to die. Some of them I never see again, and Some keep coming back. I want to tell them all that they can do it, They are not going to die ( they will just feel like it for a while) and its so worth it, to make sure they do come back , that they dont have to wait till they can walk again, they can come back the very next day, and work through all the pain, cause at the end of it all they will find a stronger beautiful self, who was just waiting to come out.
This journey is so worth it, you just have to want it, more than anything you have ever wanted in your life.
I use to say that divorcing my first husband was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but it was the best thing I ever did for my boys.
This is the hardest thing I have ever done, and the best thing I have ever done forMYSELF...and my boys.
I thought I would end this post by posting a picture of myself that I allowed to be taken. I wasnt a fan of the camera for obvious reasons, but this one was taken in Aug, 2004.