Sunday, September 26, 2010

long time no post

I really tried this past week, but something was wrong with my internet and not it just wasnt loading well, so I gave up.
anyway, its been a very long couple of weeks, with work and workouts. I had a crazy week last week with a few days of over 1000 calories burned, yes, you read that right. I had two nights where I was at the gym for 3 hours, If that is what its gonna take to zap these last few pounds off of me, that is what I will do.
I have had a few things said to me this past week that doesnt sit well with me at all. And I am going to bitch about it here.
. When people tell me I am good, I dont need to lose any more weight.
I HATE THIS. for the sole reason that I am NOT DONE, I have not reached my goal that I set out to reach. I will not just stop where I am at cause I look "fine". If I did that ,I would feel like I failed to reach my goal. regardless of the weight I have lost ,I will feel like I failed, because I didnt reach the goal that I set out to do. I think people dont get it, when you have been overweight your whole life ( or as long as I can remember) I really want to be able to say for the first time " I have no weight to lose" not that I would walk around saying that, but people say all the time, " I would like to lose, 10, 20, 30 pounds" I dont want to still be able to say that. I dont really expect anyone to get it, but that is how I feel about it.
Sometimes I feel bad when people want me to help them , and I cant seem to do lose this last bit myself, so how can I help someone else??
On a Good note, and this is a very very good note. I bought my first pair of size 6 pants on Friday. Size 6. so I know that when I lose my last 9 pounds, I will fit into a 6 on pretty much every brand, not just one :) I still cant do the skinny jeans, I just have too muscular of the legs to pull that cut off, but that is OK . Loving the boyfriend jeans.. I even got my friend Jenn to like them after she said she would never wear them , :)
Posting a picture from this weekend that I really like of me :)

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

I wanted to share this with you guys

A Gal from My Fitness pal , shared her blog that was for me tonight. I so needed to read this :

This is for Tamishumate and all the other people who post about how hard it is to lose those last 10 pounds:


I've been a MFP member for 8.5 months and had a lot of success so far. But I'm much more concerned about maintaining than I am about losing weight since I've had success like this in the past.

I know that a lot of people tell you what a great job you've done so far and rightfully so. But I want to tell you that I think that what you are doing right now - losing those last few pounds to get to goal - is the most impressive to me. I think you are at the hardest part when every pound comes off at what seems like a snail pace. I've been there so I know that it can be as discouraging as hell, especially when the first 50 - 60 - 75 seem now, in retrospect, to have just dropped off.

I don't follow you closely so the last time I looked at your profile you were at 15 pounds to go. Today, I looked you up again and you were at 9lbs! I remembered that you were feeling kind of down about how slowly the 15 were coming off so I was really happy to see you had lost 6. Congratulations!

I'm trying to work into a mental attitude that will help me maintain when I reach goal. I haven't worked it out all yet but part of it is that plateaus and the last-ten-pounds syndrome are trial runs for maintenance. They require you to keep on tracking what you eat, exercising heavily and regularly but without the thrills of weight loss and the public recognition that goes with it. In other words, just sheer dogged persistence.

Every time you write about the discouragement you feel at this last stage, how you are getting through the aches and pains of exercising without giving up, you inspire and remind me that this is an endless journey. There will be no "well, it doesn't matter now because I'm finished losing weight" thinking and NO GIVING UP.

I know you're going to hang in there. Thank you for sharing how tough it is going to be.

IT is so hard, And so hard to not just say " Ehh, I look good, just be done" But I CANT DO THAT, I have set a goal, and I must reach it, its no longer about the health and that I need to lose weight to be healthy ( in fact, I am insanely healthy, was told by my dr that with my blood pressure I will live a very long time, And this was only AFTER she had to go get a smaller cuff to take my blood pressure, they use to have to get the XL cuff, now they go looking for the smaller one) Anyway, its not about that, its about reaching the weight that I said I was going to do, its about seeing if the last 9 pounds will take care of the tummy that I hate having, its about seeing if I , TAMI SHUMATE, can be a size 6 , ( that is total vanity, I admit that ) . Its about , saying for the first time in my life, that I am at my goal weight , that I dont have any weight to lose. its about all that. I wont give up, I wont. I will figure out how to get rid of these last few pounds, and I will be able to say all that :)