Thursday, August 30, 2012

Something has really been bothering me the last couple of weeks

 I have heard the comments the last few weeks, with regards to my injuries.    " Maybe you need to stop working out" or  " You work out too much, this is a sign" , along the lines of that.  from strangers to my own close family members. And it really bugs the crap out of me when they say that. for a few reasons. ONE, being injured is not a sign that I work out too much,  the torn muscle came from a jumping jack, and would have happened if I was walking down the stairs, I have had nothing but problems with my right leg for a very long time with tight muscles, pulled muscles, ect, the night before the tear happened I had been woken up with a muscle cramp that lasted over 30 minutes and had me in tears, ( the DR is trying to figure out why I have been getting these types of cramps for almost 2 years)  the DR said it would most likely would have happened anyway. so "Working out WAY too much was not the cause"
 And the stress fracture started before the torn muscle, and that was my own fault cause I was not wearing shoes while doing Insanity for the previous 5 weeks. I was doing it in my living room and after the first day of wearing the shoes and catching them on the carpet more than once, I thought without shoes was safer and I wouldnt trip on the carpet.  So that was my fault, but in no way was it due to working out too much.
 ITs funny how people dont notice how I have not stepped foot inside a gym since May 31st. Or that leading up to may 31st for most of 2012, I had limited my gym time BIG TIME, due to moving, ( Packing, Cleaning, Finding a new home )  and having to find a new job.     No one says a word about how this must be making me feel. How maybe this has me scared to death that I may regain weight.   I have spent my life  two ways, 'Being overweight, and eating all the time to cope with anything I didnt like,    not moving off the couch unless I absolutely had to'.  And '  spending two years working out 10 hours a week, losing 188 pounds , then working like hell to figure out how to maintain all that weight that I had just worked so hard to lose' and now for the past 4 weeks I have been here. Not being able to work out cause if I did I would do more serious injury to myself , trying to let my body heal,  and trying like hell to not gain weight while this is happening. I have not done cardio  or any sort of workout in 4 weeks. I can feel myself getting flabby, things are spreading , and nothing fits the way it should. the scale may not have changed much, but the body has.  And I hate it. I hate the way I feel. this is not the Tami I have grown to love . It is very hard to be this way, and I dont think anyone can understand unless they themselves have had such a transformation, and have gone through all the  emotions and ups and downs of such a journey.   Its like that old saying about   not judging someone unless you have walked in their shoes....   Yeah.  That.  
 So people should stop saying things like " you work out too much , its a sign"  cause its not true.   Its life, its called getting older, and hey here is a thought, spending 20 years 100 + pounds overweight did a number on my bones,   That is not a reason to sit on my ass and get fat again. I will heal, and adjust where I need and I will stay fit and healthy. I will not stop working out,  or take this as a reason to stop working out , even if that is what you secretly hope I would do .  I wont allow myself to be that person I once was, cause THAT was killing me,  slowly I was killing myself .


  1. Way to go Tammi!!!

    I believe that there are often people that secretly want people who have had success to fail. People like you that have had amazing weight loss success are an inspiration, but also a reality check for others. We want people to do well, as long as it isn't better than we are doing!!

    Hang in there!Are there some no weight/impact activities that you can do? Maybe with some support for the injured leg-and then use the other? Pushups? Weights? I remember watching the biggest loser and one of the contestants had bad knees. They had him on a chair boxing the heck out of a bag.

    I hope that your recovery is quick!

  2. I can do knee pushups, but its too much pressure on the foot if I do toe. I have been trying to do upper body , but I am still dealing with the shoulder injury that I have had since December,so I have been limited. it has been a year for sure! And I agree with you, sadly there are people out there just waiting for us to fail ..